


The Demon Boss's Desperate Assistant

by misura



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Attempted Seduction, F/M, Sexual Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-02-01 08:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12701085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "Me, humble employee, desperate for a raise. You, sexy boss-man, with no intention of giving me what I deserve."





	The Demon Boss's Desperate Assistant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cricket_aria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cricket_aria/gifts).



> have a treat for the ship I never thought I'd ship?

"As your assistant, don't you think you should give me a raise?"

Michael blinked. _Silver fox._ Eleanor repeated to herself. _Think of him as a silver fox. No demonic overlord here, no sir. Just a hot old dude who kind of looks like that one guy from_ Cheers _, if you squint. A lot._

"A raise?" he repeated. "But - there's no money here. If there's something you want, surely you know you only have to ask Janet?"

Eleanor sighed. "Look. You want fun? You want human experiences, right?" Well, human experiences and a bathtub of paperclips it turned out, but close enough. "So just work with me here. Me, humble employee, desperate for a raise. You, sexy boss-man, with no intention of giving me what I deserve."

"Oh, I - " Michael smiled a little. "I can promise you that I will do anything in my power to ensure that you get exactly what you deserve, Eleanor. Was this on _Friends_? Just so I have a point of reference."

"Um, maybe?" Eleanor tried to remember if any episode of _Friends_ had involved one of the gang seducing a demon in order to break out of hell. "Hey, wasn't there that one episode where Joey wanted to get a part only it turned out he had to sleep with the casting director in order to get it?"

"It seemed a little weak," said Michael. "But all right, I suppose I get the general gist of the idea. Um. Is this really going to be fun? I've got to be honest with you, it doesn't _sound_ like much fun."

"Just - let me do my thing," Eleanor said. "Say, this desk looks pretty sturdy. It's not going to collapse if I jump on it, is it?"

"Why would you - "

Eleanor put a finger on his lips. It felt a bit like shushing an alligator. Or a dog. A dangerous, rabid dog. Not a golden retriever. "Shush." She imagined his lips parting, watching the tips of her fingers disappear into his wet, hot mouth.

Totally not a turn-on. Guy probably didn't know how to kiss, either, let alone how to go down on a girl who was perfectly happy to take her shirt and pants off in the middle of an office.

Unless, of course, he was a sex demon, in which case this whole Seduce Michael-plan was going to end up with all of them completely screwed - she a bit more completely than the others, but then, sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

"Um," Michael said, around her fingers. "Sorry to be ruining the mood you're trying to set here, but I just wanted to check. Am I supposed to be doing something? Is it my turn to talk yet?"

Eleanor gave him a bright smile. Any one of her - well, might as well call them 'friends' back on Earth would have recognized that smile and broken out the travel tickets.

"Please, sir, can I have a raise? Pretty, pretty please." She brought up her other hand to fondle his tie.

_The things I do for my immortal soul._ Oh well - better to fondle than to be fondled. Probably. She hadn't really gotten a lot of experience being fondled in her life, thanks to a quick right hook and a zero tolerance policy for guys who were fondlers. Or guys who wore nice ties and suits, like Michael did.

"Of course. How much of a raise do you want?"

Eleanor considered banging her head against the desk. If she'd been taking the 'let me crawl under your desk and unzip your pants for you, sir' approach, she might have given in to temptation.

As it was, she allowed herself a groan. "Man. You suck at this. Do you know how much you suck at this?"

"I'm sorry," Michael said. "I'm trying, really, I am. It's just all so new and a little confusing. You know what, maybe this simply wasn't such a good idea. You meant well, I'm sure, but by the end of the day, you're human and I'm, well, not."

"What, like a Ken doll?" _That_ would throw a bit of a wrench in the works.

"I don't know what that means," said Michael.

_Sure, buddy. I believe you._ Once upon a time, maybe she would have considered it torture to ask a guy whether he did, in fact, have a dick, or whether he simply _was_ one.

... On second thought, nope. Michael being a dick instead of having one would be a bit of a disappointment, but she'd get over it. Really soon. Possibly even sooner, if the powers that sucked decided to erase her memory again.

Eleanor moved one of her hands to a position that would allow for some careful exploring.

"Oh!" Michael - well, the guy was good. No doubt about it. Some fine acting skills right there. Might almost make a girl believe nobody'd ever put their hands down his pants. "Oh, Eleanor. That feels - "

_Definitely not a Ken doll._ In fact, he seemed considerably better endowed than any of her boyfriends or those one night-stands she actually remembered.

Eleanor leaned forwards. "I _really_ want this, sir."

"This?" Michael said. His voice went up a bit, which was just adorable. It reminded Eleanor of that time she'd almost seduced a high-school student. At a bar. Drunk. "Ah, yes. The raise. No, I don't think so, sorry. You'll have to ah, come up with a more convincing argument than that, Miss Shellstrop."

_Fork._ Eleanor realized that she'd forgotten to ask about his chair. Nothing for it now, of course; it was definitely do or die time - except that she was already dead, so that meant it was do time.

_Do Michael. Fork his brains out without getting your own brains forked out. Profit._

"Oh, but I'd be such an excellent assistant," she said. "Haven't I been a good girl, sir?"

"Well, you could have hardly been a good _boy_ , could you?" Michael asked. "Biologically, that is. Your file also seems to clearly indicate that you identify as female."

Eleanor groaned. She might have almost missed the slight twist of Michael's lips at the sound.

_Batter!_ That was _it_. She was either going to make him beg for mercy, or die trying - and for the latter, please refer to the earlier commentary regarding her current and ever-lasting state.

"Hey, know what, you're right," said Michael, looking her straight in the eye. "This is kind of fun. I think I just needed to get the hang of it."

"Great," Eleanor said brightly. "I mean, oh, sir, what kind of girl do you think I am?"

"A good one?" Michael suggested. Eleanor gestured. "Ah. A girl who wants to get a raise very badly and would be willing to do just about anything to get one? Oh my, do people say this kind of thing in real life? Small wonder so many of you end up in the Bad Place. That's really not very nice at all, you know."

"Pretending's sort of fun, though, right?" Eleanor said. "I mean, we could also do the whole 'hey, come here often, yeah, me neither, so how about a fork' thing, but isn't this much nicer?"

"What happened to 'till death do us part'?" Michael asked. "What happened to years and years of pining before finally hooking up in the final episode?"

"Um, one, totally old-fashioned, two, that only happened on TV," said Eleanor. She realized he really was going to let her do all the work here. To be fair, that kind of put him on the same level as several of her boyfriends.

Pity he didn't have a wallet she could take with her on the way out. She supposed she might filch a pocketful of paperclips, but it just wouldn't be the same. He'd probably simply ask Janet to bring him some new ones - assuming he noticed at all.

"What a delightful physical experience this is," Michael said, moving perhaps an inch.

Given half a chance, he probably wouldn't even let her come. Again, real familiar. "Fun, right?" she said, moving a good deal more than an inch.

Michael shuddered, his eyes fluttering shut. _Houston, are we having a problem?_ "Keep going."

"Sure thing, boss."

"You keep this up, I promise you, you're definitely getting that raise," Michael said. "Double your current salary, how's that sound?"

_Like you think I'm the kind of sucker who doesn't know two times nothing is still nothing._

Oh well. If she played her cards right, at least she might wrangle some desk sex out of this situation.


End file.
